Fast in the streets 

Fast in the sheets 


"It’s not canon!"

"Your mom’s not canon!"

Most of the time, Sonic hate tends to come from written sources (poorly researched gaming magazines, the internet, etc.) 

However, I know a guy in real life who will regularly try to convince me that Sonic is worthless. Thing is, he hasn’t played a game since Sonic Adventure 2. He just *knows* that Sonic games are terrible because “they used a werewolf storyline in that one game/it’s not as popular as Mario/Mario never has a bad game/it uses King Arthur and isn’t entirely historically accurate/adults shouldn’t like kid’s games anyway.”

And I just roll my eyes.


Man, Shadow really has one hell of a traumatizing family experience.

First his sis dies protecting him.

Then his daddy goes insane and is shot with a machine gun while being tied to an electric chair (because seriously, what else is it supposed to be???).

Then, he finds that his daddy wasn’t really his daddy and his real daddy is actually abusive and mean and wants to literally devour human kind alive and do horrible things to his son and his friends. He kills said daddy, resulting in destroying his entire biological brethren.

Now, the only person that he can somehow qualify as “family” is his foster daddy’s crazed up grandson. Their relationship is heated and strained, with no familial love to be felt. Eggman is a shitty uncle.




How about I bring up this theory that everyone on the Lost Hex is dead?

Like, Sonic and Tails actually died when the Tornado got shot down by Eggman in Sonic Lost World’s very opening. Their souls are stuck in a spiritual purgatory, created by six gods with distinct multiple personality disorders. They don’t believe they can leave and they’ve been up there so long that they’ve lost most of their sanity. Sonic is the only one who hasn’t taken the living corpse state and declares that he’s not ready to die like this. He defeats the Zeti with bare hands, and shows Tails and Eggman that they, too, could leave. His ultimate goal is to escape the dead world that is the Lost Hex and return to the living world - the Earth - with his friends because they’re diehards. He obviously lets Eggman come along too, since a living world is boring without eggbutt-kicking.

That’s right. If in Sonic 06, Sonic’s friends were the ones to bring Sonic back to the living world, this is Sonic repaying the favor by freeing his friends - including himself - from a permanent living corpse state.

Can I expand upon this?

Sonic just happens to die and land in this purgatory, along with Tails and Eggman, just when the gods of the halfway point are planning their destruction of Earth as payback for being sent to The Lost Hex. See, the Zeti are more like Greek Titans – gods of vast power, but not omnipresent or omnipotent. They were officially locked away due to their desire for wanton destruction, but actually, they were resisting the order of newer, more powerful gods (Chaos, Gaia, etc.) They were banished, and to appease them, they were given absolute power over their domain. For the souls they would oversee in purgatory, the conch shell was created to prevent too much punishment.

However, since they are less powerful, they need a modern weapon to instigate their war on Earth. When Eggman comes in, filled with greed and mechanical knowledge, they learn how to make modern technology. This explains how they can learn to build robots from him so quickly – they’re gods, with godlike intelligence. Once they have the weapon and the failsafe is out of Eggman’s hands, they can use their godlike powers to control the mechs, as they are now in their domain. The weapon they use doesn’t completely destroy everything – it just brings the target into the Zeti’s domain, and the Zeti love destruction.

It’s been shown before that it’s possible to come back from the dead under the right circumstances. Sonic and Tails are trying to stop the Zeti from destroying the world, inadvertantly also stopping a war between deities and the whole world plunging into purgatory.

Also, as a sidenote, since Orbot and Cubot or there, this would mean that the robots either A) Have immortal souls or B) Can traverse the schism between the living and the dead. Cool.

Sonic running.

Real life running.


I like the Chaos Emeralds. I want to see the Chaos Emeralds and the Master Emeralds utilized to their full potential with the infinite cosmic powers they hold. Sonic can easily become God with their power and restart humanity all over again and restore the completely destroyed worlds and reshape the entire universe. So cool.

After looking at Sonic 4 and the different ranking systems in Unleashed. I think that there should be two different ranks you can get in Sonic games.

One would be purely speed based; faster you finish the level, the better the rank.

The other would be point based. Rings, animals rescued, extra hidden bits… these would count for these scores. This would let people trying to get everything take their time.

You’d only have to get a passing rank on one in order to move on in the game, but you’d have to get an S rank in either one or the other to go to the Chaos stages (and try to get an emerald). And if you have S ranks on both saved to your game, you could unlock things (extra cutscenes, music, whatever.)

I don’t know. I think that would make the game enjoyable for people that play in different styles.


Another Sonic-Vocaloid crossover